There’s a paradox to the chosen life path of living abroad. On the one hand, it’s a lifelong dream come true. The chance to step beyond the familiar, to grow, to discover new cultures, and to live life on your own terms. On the other hand, life abroad can sometimes feel like it strips your life of meaning.
Maybe you don’t yet have a job, or one that feels fulfilling. Maybe you haven’t found your tribe: a community or group of friends where you can be your full self. With your familiar support network far away, it can feel like being lost at sea in an ocean of unfamiliarity.
Perhaps you’ve been living abroad for years. The routines that once felt thrilling have become ordinary, and new prospects don’t excite you anymore. You know the challenges of relocation too well, so the idea of returning home, or starting over somewhere new, doesn’t feel like an option either.
Your chosen career no longer lights you up, yet changing paths feels impossible. You sense something has to shift, but you’re not sure what you want your life to look like anymore.
Rediscovering Meaning Through Values
When life begins to feel directionless, it often signals that somewhere along the way, we’ve lost touch with our values, the deeper principles that guide our decisions and give our lives coherence.
Values are not goals or achievements; they’re ongoing directions. They’re the compass you use to steer through life. Your values might be love, curiosity, growth, freedom, honesty, or connection.
Living abroad can challenge and stretch these values. The ways you used to live them out may no longer be available. Perhaps community once came easily through shared language and culture, but now requires more effort and vulnerability. Maybe freedom once meant travel and new experiences, but now it looks like building stability in a foreign land.
When we live for too long in ways that are disconnected from our values, life can start to feel meaningless. The good news is that meaning can be rebuilt. Not by waiting for the “right” opportunity, but by reconnecting with what truly matters to you.
How to Reconnect With Your Values
Here are a few ways to begin that reconnection process:
1. Reflect on meaningful moments.
Think of times in your life when you felt deeply fulfilled, alive, or proud of how you showed up. What values were present in those moments? Was it kindness, courage, creativity, or contribution?
2. Notice what stirs emotion.
Emotions often point to what matters. If you feel frustrated, lonely, or restless, ask yourself: What is the unmet value underneath this feeling? Perhaps loneliness signals a desire for connection; restlessness might signal a need for growth or freedom.
3. Let go of “shoulds.”
Living abroad can blur the lines between who you are and who you think you should be, as a daughter or son, a partner, or professional. Try to listen less to the “shoulds” and more to the quiet voice inside that says, this feels right for me.
4. Explore new ways to express old values.
Maybe community now looks like joining a local class or volunteering. Maybe creativity becomes cooking with local ingredients. Living abroad offers endless chances to express your values in new ways if you stay open to them.
Turning Values Into Direction
Once you’ve reconnected with your values, you can start to translate them into meaningful action.
In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), values are like a compass — they guide your direction, but you never “arrive.” You can set goals that move you toward your values, but the values themselves remain ongoing.
For example:
- If your value is connection, a goal might be to invite one new person for coffee each week.
- If your value is growth, a goal could be to start a language class or online course.
- If your value is contribution, perhaps it’s volunteering with a local organization.
Start small, but start. When you take action guided by your values, life begins to feel richer, even if your circumstances haven’t changed. Meaning often emerges not from comfort or certainty, but from the act of choosing to live in alignment with what you care about.
Embracing the Existential Side of Living Abroad
Existential therapy reminds us that feelings of emptiness, uncertainty, and longing are part of being human, and they can be amplified when we live outside our familiar world. Living abroad confronts us with big questions: Who am I now? What gives my life meaning? What is home?
Rather than running from these questions, you can approach them with curiosity and compassion. Living meaningfully doesn’t mean having all the answers. It means engaging deeply with these questions and making choices that feel authentic to you.
Try to make peace with the unknown. You don’t need to have your life abroad “figured out.” What matters is staying present with your experience, continuing to grow, and building a life that feels true to your evolving self.
Bringing It All Together
Building a meaningful life abroad is about conscious living. Showing up for yourself, your relationships, and your values, even when things are uncertain.
Meaning is not found, it’s created, moment by moment, through the choices you make and the values you embody.
When you reconnect with what matters most to you, even the challenges of life abroad can become part of a meaningful story. One of courage, curiosity, and becoming who you truly are.
How Counselling Can Help
If you’re living abroad and struggling to find your sense of purpose, belonging, or direction, know that you’re not alone. These experiences are a normal part of navigating life far from home. Counselling can offer a space to explore your values, rediscover what truly matters to you, and begin building a life that feels meaningful again.
If you’d like support on that journey, I offer online counselling for people living abroad. Reach out to begin your journey to a more meaningful life, wherever in the world you are.
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