Jane stood in the airport parking lot, watching the back of a taxi disappear into traffic. Minutes earlier, she and her friend had been laughing, trying to keep the mood light even though they both knew this goodbye was different. They promised to keep in touch, to visit, to not let the friendship fade. But Jane knew that distance has a way of slowly changing things, no matter how strong the bond.
This was a friendship built over years, living down the road, sharing late-night meals, helping each other through heartbreaks, celebrating milestones no one back home really understood. It felt more like family than friendship. And her closest friend was moving away. Jane walked back to her car feeling the empty space her friend had once filled, knowing that while video calls might help, they couldn’t replace being there in person.
Why Friendship Abroad Feels Different
When you move to a new country, your entire social network changes overnight. Back home, friendships often form naturally, through work, school, neighbours, or mutual friends. But abroad, you start again as a stranger. Making friends takes more effort, and even when you succeed, the friendships can be fragile.
Living as an expat, immigrant, or nomad means people come and go. Sometimes you meet someone and the friendship never quite gets beyond small talk. Other times, you form deep bonds that carry you through adventures, challenges, and everyday life. Only for the inevitable to happen, they leave.
One by one, the people who made you feel at home move away. You go to goodbye parties, accompany friends to the airport, and watch them disappear through security. Each time, it leaves a gap in your social life and a sense of loss.
Even when you keep in touch, distance changes the friendship. Without shared experiences and day-to-day contact, it becomes harder to maintain the same closeness.
The Emotional Impact
This constant cycle of building and losing friendships can be exhausting. Some people find themselves holding back from making new friends because it feels safer not to risk another goodbye. Over time, this can lead to loneliness and disconnection. Without a strong social network, it’s easy to feel adrift, especially in a place where you’re still adjusting to the culture or language.
As a counsellor and fellow international myself, I have seen it many times. The pain of losing friends through the constant expat cycle. Sometimes it happens quickly, and new friends are already on the way out of the country months later. Other times, it’s a dawning realization that the your best friend of eight years is leaving, and you have no idea when or where you’ll see them again.
How you can find friendship abroad
Despite the challenges, it’s still possible to create a fulfilling social life abroad. It often requires more intention:
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Join local classes, clubs, or sports teams.
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Volunteer for community projects.
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Learn the language, even imperfectly.
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Say yes to invitations, even if you don’t know anyone there.
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Take the first step in inviting others to connect.
Friendship abroad is less about filling your calendar and more about finding people you can truly be yourself with. The process can be slow and full of setbacks, but when those connections do form, they bring a deep sense of belonging that makes anywhere feel more like home.
How Counselling Can Support You
As a counsellor who has lived internationally myself, I understand the challenges of building and maintaining friendships far from home. If you’re feeling isolated or struggling with the ups and downs of friendship abroad, I invite you to reach out. Let’s work together to help you find belonging, resilience, and peace in your journey, no matter where you are in the world.